I only have a few minutes, but I always like to take some time and write when I can. I have had so many good days. And basically every day now is a good day. But those good days can sometimes have bad minutes or hours in them. The truly astounding thing about this statement is that I can separate the good and the bad now. I can still have a good day even when I have a trigger that sets me off course. I can now, after having an argument with H at night, wake up, smile and laugh about how absurd I was the night before. Before if H and I had an argument at night, it would follow me into the next day. This is such huge progress for me. And I have to give props to H as well. He is figuring me out. He isn’t perfect, or even really good yet at figuring me out, but he tries, he makes an effort and he doesn’t make things worse like he used to.
Last night we were watching a movie and it happened to be in vegas. Of course the main hotel they showed was the ‘Aria. The stupid whores name. And then after they showed a huge image of it, they showed a bus with the same hotel on it. It was a big trigger and i stopped watching the movie and got on my phone. H knew what was wrong and held my hand and told me he loved me. That helps alot. He did say something that kind of bothered me, something small like ‘why are you ignoring me?’ I wasnt, i was just trying to forget what I had just seen. I told him that and things were just fine after that. Our communication has got a ton better. I love that we can just talk and not argue. Not that we don’t argue sometimes, but not much.
Anyways…. things are good for me! Starting my new job tomorrow! Then another short vacation for us! We will be driving to montana to see glacier national park!