Pulling the TRIGGER

Today was a great day. It started out going to brunch with all hubbies cousins (with baby). It was fun, slightly insane, but fun. Baby was incredibly active, and I walked out dripping in sweat. Okay maybe not dripping, but I mean, I was sweating underneath my butcheeks. I thought that only happened when I exercised…. nope!

After Brunch, I went home to nap baby. My mom, sister and sister in law all came over to bring us to the zoo. It was so much fun, and it was nice taking my mind off being alone and H being gone for ATLEAST another week.

At the end of the trip I realized I forgot the formula to make baby a bottle… so she had a meltdown. The poor girl did so welk until we got in the car. The mixture of sun, long days and no bottle really did her in. And it was a long car ride home

Upon getting home and promptly feeding babe and putting her to bed I walked outside. I found that one of our little baby robins in the best right outside our back door had either fallen and died or been attacked. No matter how it happened, it was dead on our back patio. Then I got a shovel to bring it to the compost and found not only a severely injured baby bunny, but also a dying mouse. I scooped the baby bunny up and found the bunny nest. I felt it only right that if it died, it died with it’s momma. The mouse, though H told me to put it out of its misery, I just left. I couldnt handle the idea of killing an animal.

So what I’m trying to say is that I (a serious animal lover) ¬†experienced 3 dead or almost dead animals in a matter of 2 minutes. It broke my heart. The poor bunny could still move, but just barely. The mouse was breathing, but couldn’t move. Both nesrly dead because my idiot dog…. I know it’s only natural… But it makes no difference. It hurts my heart knowing she hurt them.

I was talking to H, who wasn’t paying much attention to the situation because he was also playing video games and talking to his friend, so he didn’t make things much better. I turned on Gilmore girls because it always takes my mind of things. And of course the episode where Rory slept with a married man came on. I triggered with that a little. And the stress from all the poor dead babies didn’t help mattera. Fortunately I was able to take my attention off everything by skipping thay episode and moving on to a less…. dark…. episode. And then h called again when he finally got done with his game.

I guess I’m getting better at getting over the triggera. I still hate when they happen. Whatever.


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