It’s hard to believe that the home we once made our own will soon no longer be ours. The bright colored walls, the luxurious carpet and the beautiful built in bookshelves will likely all be changed. I can no longer hold onto that part of my life, as it is no longer mine to hold onto. It will forever be a memory. And when I think about that home, I will smile and be reminded on all the good memories we shared in it. Admittedly it has been very hard on me, but this too shall pass.
Yesterday H and I had a meeting with a financial advisor, as we will likely make a large chunk of change on this house. We came up with a great long term plan that both made me excited for the future, and confident in my marriage to H. We will be starting a college fund for baby, as well as investing in the stock and paying off my student loan. We were asked if the home we currently live in will be a long term home, and H immediately said “yes”, looked at me and said “dont you think so?”. It felt good to hear that. And it feels good to have plans for our future, plans that make it pretty secure that H wants our marriage.
One thing I notice about H is that though he may not come right out and say “I want us, I want to be married forever” all the time, he always makes it clear by his actions. As long as I feel it and see it, I don’t need to hear the exact words.
Last night H was playing some video games, which I am just fine with. He works so hard for us, the last thing I want to do is make him feel like he csnt unwind with his favorite game. So he played games, we put baby to sleep and he played a couple more games before he got off. It’s so much better than when he would play until I was asleep. So anyway, after he got off his games, we took a shower together and hung out in the bedroom. We watched some of our shows and relaxed. At one point he put in his headphones and was watching a video his friend sent him, which is fine. But then he started watching more videos. I was a little frustrated, but not terribly, so I just tried to get to bed, which I couldnt. Eventually he asked if I was sad, I said a little, then he asked if o was mad and I said no. He asked why I was sad and I simply said “you were just plugged in most of our night”. He said he wasn’t thinking and that he was sorry. I was fine after that. He sounded sorry. I still couldn’t get to sleep, but managed to fall asleep around 10. Around 10:30, H started feeling me up, which is a normal occurrence for him to do in his sleep (he has done it since we first met). This time, however, I realized he was awake, and very much in the mood. That was unusual, as he is usually a heavy sleeper. It was very, very good, As our sex life has been for the last several months.
This weekend is our weekend in vegas! We are extremely excited, and are constantly talking about it with the friends who are coming with us. Tonight I’m going to get my nails done and see if I can find a different dress… if not i have a few options, but ones a little tight for my new mom curves (still have a small stomach that won’t go away, and since I’m still nursing, my Bs are more like Ds). So tonight should be fun! Friday night we will be busy getting out stuff ready, along with baby’s stuff ready for staying with her auntie. So to ight will be my last relaxing night for the next several days. I still can’t believe we are going to Vegas! I’ve never really wanted to go until this year. A lot has changed, and so A crazy weekend in vegas sounds like a good time to me!
Busy weeks ahead of me! Pray this house sells quick and that we get more than we expect!