A light heart

My heart is so light lately. H and I have been doing SO well. I will, however, admit that I had a hard night on Saturday.

We were hanging out with some friends at their house, having some drinks. We started playing a game on the Xbox, and one of the characters had the OW’S name. I just… didn’t feel good. I hate that stupid name! And of course it’s not a super common name, so when you see it, it really stands out.
Then, while playing beer pong, somehow a girl H used to be friends with when he was younger (the girl who facebook stalks us) came up in conversation, and it frustrated me a little. H, both times, could see I was uncomfortable and made sure to show me more affection. I really appreciated it, but because I had a few drinks I was having a hard time coming out of the slump.
Fortunately the next day H and I woke up and started the day fresh. He seems to understand and tolerate my hard times much better than he used to. I know it’s dumb to appreciate that, as he should have been doing that from the start… but life isn’t perfect, and he didn’t do those things. He used to fight my slumps, acting as though I shouldn’t have them. That was very hard on me. H had learned. He has been really benefiting from counseling.
Sunday we decided to go to the zoo with baby. It was the first nice day here in a long time, and we wanted to get out. We left the house, had some lunch and went to the zoo, where it took nearly 45 minutes to find parking. We had plans later in the day with his family, so I was getting uncomfortable with everything. I apologized to H for having such a crazy idea (he wasn’t so sure the zoo was a great idea), but he quickly said “don’t be sorry, it’ll be fun!” It’s good to get some reassurance when I feel like that, and it’s nice to get it from him!
The zoo was SO much fun. H carried baby nearly the entire time, and was having so much fun showing her around and taking pictured with her.  We realized we missed some of the cooler sections while we were leaving. We agreed we would have to come back in the later spring to see them. It’s hard to believe, but this was our first time going to the zoo together. We had talked about it so many times before, but just never did it.
Baby was loving it until the very end, when she started getting very tired. I was holding baby when she started having an absolute melt down, and I wasn’t able to console her (this was super unusual). H took her and she immediately calmed down and fell asleep in his arms. I can’t explain the feeling of watching him become such a good daddy to her. She absolutely adores him, and he adores her. I haven’t seen him so “soft” since he and I first started dating. Being a father is turning out to be so good for H and is anger problems. He doesn’t get angry, like ever, anymore. Ever since he started really bonding with his daughter, that is.
Monday H sent me a text of a picture of his time hop (an app that shows you what you posted on that day any number of years ago). It was a picture of me he had posted with the caption “missing her, can wait to see her in a couple days! I am so lucky to call her my wife!” It was 2 years ago when he was on a work trip for a month. He texted me the picture and said ” still true ❤”. It is such a small gesture, but meant the world to me. I make to let him know how much I love that stuff.
I’ve also been craving apple pie (I literally had NO pie during the holidays! I actually barely ate at all during that time). I came home and he had made me special gluten free pie crust and was putting the pie together. Seriously, it’s the little things. ❤
We have been reading Harry Potter to eachother. He does most of the reading, because he falls asleep every time I read. He says my voice soothes him. Usually he is pretty tired by the time we start reading. It’s fun to have something light to talk about and enjoy together.
Our anniversary is in a week and a half. I haven’t planned anything because I wasn’t expecting him to be home. I’m sure he has something planned, as he has brought up the day several times. I’m excited no matter what we do. I think it’s so important (if you want to make your marriage work) to continue celebrating things such as an anniversary. It’s such a reminder of what your husband or wife forgot (how much they loved you). I’m no expert, but I think it’s good for your marriage.

I don’t find much motivation to get on here much anymore. Partially because things are going to well and partially because I’m just tired of all the sad stories. Not that there is anything wrong with them. Obviously they are writing about what They are going through, I just dont like letting that negativity Into my mind. It makes me less happy in my own marriage. And that’s not sure healthy.

Today I challenge you to do something small and kind for your significant other to show them how much you love and appreciate them. Whether it’s sending them a sweet text, putting a cute note in their lunch or making their favorite meal. Make them see how much you love them.

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3 thoughts on “A light heart

  1. How did you get him to see that his actions hurt you.? My husband has cheated on me for going on 9 years with 3 different women that I know about. I’m devastated. He always comes back on the brick of our divorce and tells me everything I want to hear. 6 months later. Here we go again. Always the same behavior and then my trust issues, he says are why he acts distant. Blocks my number and refuses to talk to me. He said I can’t remind him of this forever and yes I know But he still doesn’t act trust worthy. He works off and there are all kinds of things I see on his bank statement that he never tells me. How can I ever trust. He will tell me, like he always does he wants a divorce because I can never trust him. Reality is there is always someone else. I’m tired and just want to disappear. Forever

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    1. Honestly if it’s been going on for that long, and if it has continued even after you guys have made up, there is something wrong with him. There is likely nothing YOU can do. He needs to get help. He is stringing you along.

      BUT, the way I got H to see his fault is by grace. I showed him love, forgiveness and grace, and he realized that he had been horrible to me. I am a firm believer that you should never point the finger and attack your significant other. What that causes is anger and fights… which do not help. When you talk to them as a separate and equal human, instead of talking down to them and looking at them as lesser, they are more willing to understand and open up. Unfortunately what I’ve learned that you must push yourself to the point of breaking, and then push more. We are the ones that were hurt, but if you want to save your marriage, you have to be willing to show grace. Once you can find it in yourself, its amazing how much change you see in your SO.
      As hard as it sounds, it’s worth all the struggle. I’m a better person because of it.
      Do it for yourself, not for him. And if in the end, it doesn’t save your marriage, atleast you have done everything in Your power to try to save it.
      And seriously, go get help. Find a therapist and TALK. Even if it’s just you. I have both single and couples session and they have helped so incredibly much. We can now underdtsnd eachother better.
      It takes a lot of trial and error to make things work. But if you ever need to talk to someone you aren’t connected to personally, I’m always here. I’m no therapist, but I’ve learned a lot over my sessions.

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