Am I a bad person?

Is it wrong of me to wish whole heartedly that the OW goes into labor early? And to not feel bad about wishing that upon her? I mean she has like 1.5 months left until she’s due…. or maybe I just wish she could be so miserable she would be put on bed rest? Come on! Just make her go away for a while!

I forgot to tell you H kept a secret from me. He says he did it because we were getting to the point that we were setting up therapy and were finally working on us and didn’t want it to be a set back… I kind of feel like it was extremely embarrassing to him and he couldn’t bring it up. Either way it was a secret…
H told me the OW’S husband texted him weeks ago. Up till this point I assumed he had no idea. I often wanted to send him a message via FAKEBOOK and tell him what his whore wife was doing while carrying his child… but I couldn’t do it.  H says the message basically just said to stay away from and stop talking to his wife. I have a feeling it said more, and was probably pretty demeaning…. I know my message to her would have been… but who knows!
I hate secrets… but the annoying part about this is that it kind of gave me a little closure. If her husband didn’t know, it would have been so much easier for them to slip back into talking (though I don’t think H ever wanted to, and I’m too much of a sleuth for him to get away with it again), or for her to continue messaging him trying to get his attention back. But now that he knows, it’s pretty clear that he has no intention on leaving her (I mean she is balls pregnant with his child) and obviously wants to work through it with her. Have fun bro!

Can I just be immature for a second and say that these two literally look like the most dull, brain dead people ever?! Idk… I feel like if you were to look at a picture of me, you’d probably want to hang out, maybe go to the bar and have a drink with me. Seeing a picture of her you want to fall asleep. She is so DULL. I’ve never been one to think of myself as super good looking…. but I’m finding a self confidence I’ve never had before… and I KNOW im good looking. I’m not everyone’s type, but I don’t have to be… and that’s the beauty of it! When you realize that, I feel like you can be set free to be your own kind of beautiful. I no longer need reassurance. I.AM.HOTT.

H tells me work is super awkward since he works with the OW. GOOD. I want it to be weird, and awkward and uncomfortable. I want you to feel how childish this whole thing was. Do any of you remember being in middle school, finding out someone had a crush on you and the getting asked out over the phone… but then you couldn’t talk in person, it was too awkward? So you would only talk on the phone or on the computer? And then in a week you’d realize that it wasn’t working, or Jimmy was cheating on you with kelsey, so you ended it? I feel like this affair was exactly that. H talked to the OW about work at work in person, but when they started talking about everything else it was via text, never in person. It was literally like a stupid middle school game. And I feel like it would have SEVERELY blown up in their faces if they ever tried to be together.

My husband is NOT easy to deal with. He has some seriously weird issues. He can’t stand the sound of mouth noises, even if you’re eating something crunchy, he is very particular about what we watch on tv, he hates almost everyone once he gets to know them, he gets ridiculously mad at stupid things and he is the needless man child EVER. That doesn’t even skim the surface. All of those things I knew when I decided to marry him. They were a part of him, and I loved him despite it all. And still do. But I’m telling you right now he’d be hard pressed to find another woman who let him be himself like I do. Most women would try to change him, but he would resist that like no other. He is free to feel those feeling with me and I feel that he kind of took it for granted. He didn’t realize that I love with BECAUSE and DESPITE all of his crazy personality traits. He sounds like a psycho, but those things are just a small piece of who he is to me. He is just not an easy person to deal with if you arent… well… me. 😂

Back to my original thought… why won’t this bitch whore just go into labor? Or like break her effing leg? Just.go.away. and I hope after her maternity leave (just take the whole effing 3 months, bitch, okay?) She decides that she just can’t fathom leaving her child and she quits. Or like…. disappears. Either way.

I feel like I’m such a bad person, because I’m literally over here smiling as I write the word “disappear”…  but then I realize she did it to herself. Bitch.

Today has been a good day. I like having good days.

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8 thoughts on “Am I a bad person?

    1. If the OW and her husband get a divorce it will be down the road, as they are no stranger to emotional affairs in their marriage. What I haven’t mentioned is that her husband had an emotional affair a couple years ago. I feel like in a way this was her payback to him for that. Who knows.

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      1. Oh wow! A cheater married to a cheater.

        I am sorry for her having to bear her husband’s affair…but it definitely did not give her the license to butt into someone else’s marriage.

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      2. When I first found out about a year ago about her husbands affair I felt horrible. But you’d think since she’s been through this she wouldn’t do it to another woman. But she did, so she’s a fucking cunt. Sorry for the language. I get heated when I think about her.

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  1. Uh… would that mean your husband as the “other man” would be destined to divorce to? I dunno lots of people stay together. Have you been able to read the messages from the betrayed husband? How much of your husbands messaging did you get to see? How are you sure it didn’t go further than emotional?

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    1. Yes I did read the messages between them. It was all mostly small talk and then she’d throw in a serious question about “what they were doing, and where this is going” and my husbands efforts to try to dodge them. It was so dumb and very middle school-esque. I get embarrassed for him just thinking about their conversations.

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