Is God testing me?

About a week ago, a guy I used to kind of date long distance  (he was a military guy) started following me on Instagram. Mind you, it’s been like 7 years since I last spoke to him… but I know he was very much in love with me. He messaged me telling me that my daughter was adorable just like her mom (me)… it felt super innapropriate, so I quickly shut him down.  He still follows me and likes every picture I post almost immediately. He messaged me again today.
I’ve told H, as I do feel weird about the situation, and if I didn’t tell him and he were to find out, he would probably think I was trying to have an emotional affair to get back at him. I have absolutely NO intentions of being friendly with this guy, but I have to admit that I feel very flattered by this. I also feel like my self confidence has got a little boost. I know im an attractive woman. I am certainly no model, I’m short and I have curves. I just had a baby, so my body isn’t as toned as it once was. But I’m getting there, and having someone kind of “swoon” over me, if you will, is nice. Not that my husband doesnt… it just makes me feel like I am a woman men do look at and find attractive, almost like a threat to my husband? It probably doesn’t make sense, since I have no intentions of leaving my husband, but it feels good to feel good about myself.
So anyways, I thought telling my husband about this would make him feel a little threatened, but it isn’t stirring him up as much as I want it to! I want him to feel threatened, but he seems pretty calm. Today I texted him and told him that he contacted me again and he said “so weird! Want me to beat him up?”… idk I guess I thought he would get a little more protective than that. Maybe he is hiding his concern, but I wish he wouldn’t. I want to see him get jealous of me! I want him to realize what he almost lost!

On another note, I’ve been feeling great about the prospect of my future with H. And not only that I’ve just been feeling great about myself. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. Pregnancy was such a hard time for me, but I do remember LOVING that I was carrying my baby, but I haven’t felt like this in probably over 2 years. I’m exercising, I’m working full time, I’m a mother of the most gorgeous little girl and I am bettering myself every day. And I’m not doing it for H, I’m doing it for ME.

I feel like God is testing me with this guy coming back into my life (in a way). I mean… what an interesting time for this to happen to me! I have no desire to cheat on H or hide things from him, but I feel that if it were any other person in this position, they may fall for this. I mean it’s all too easy! It’s like an affair potential has been put onto my lap. Life is SO WEIRD guys…. so incredibly weird.


2 thoughts on “Is God testing me?

  1. Maybe god isn’t testing you. Maybe he is just putting people in your life or reminding you that you have value for things to come. As you have said- you are new to this adultery thing. You may not be out of the woods yet. This man sounds like someone who would be a good friend. Not appropriate to be close to now. But say your husband leaves you. What if you need someone to talk to. Or a mans perspective. God does weird stuff sometimes and its not always just flattery.


    1. I don’t know what God was doing, but I’m sure that it’s wildly innapropriate that I keep in contact with this man just to have someone to talk to in case things go south. Especially since I’m SURE he would have completely different intentions.

      Liked by 1 person

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