The word affair was so far out of my vocabulary. It was a word only used in bad, failing marriages. So why was it all the sudden the primary word in my vocabulary? Up to this point I thought I had a great marriage. We had so much love for each other and we seemed happy… but maybe I was blind? Yes, I was absolutely blind. My husband had an emotional affair, and it all started while I was about ready to pop with our first born… with it was a co-worker of his. The pain seemed so intense and unbearable when I found out. You never think it will happen to you until it does. And it is all too much to describe. The words “emotional affair” seem so laughable. What the hell does it mean? It means that the life you once knew and loved, the life you were comfortable living is no longer your life. Your life is now a complete tornado that you have to navigate through for the next… well… who knows. You can’t stop it, you can’t make it go away. The only thing that helps is time…. I think? Dear God, I’m only a month and a half into this hell storm. And i have good days, and I have bad days… but no day is without its serious emotional roller coaster. I think my husband and I have the same end goal… a healthier, happier marriage. And that’s what gets me through my days. The fact that though my life is not what I’d imagined it would be, I have that to hold on to. We will see… only time will tell, I think?
So here I am, getting real, getting dirty and getting better. I’ll be blogging my journey through this tough time. If you need support, leave comments and I will be happy to be a support for you.