Husband is gone on another work trip to the place everything started. Where dday occurred. Every time it gets easier than the last, but its still not easy. Its a huge trigger for me. I mean, it was the beginning of the worst time in my life. H was there when he considered leaving me.… Continue reading Immediate aftermath
I often find myself wondering if there is a disconnect between what he tells me, and what he is actually thinking. Is he telling me what i want to hear, or is he speaking from the heart? I think its natural, after all we (betrayeds) have been through, to second guess everything. It doesnt make… Continue reading What is he thinking?
Strength looks different on everyone. On me, strength is a smile while my heart is heavy. Strength is walking in the front door to my husband after a tearful drive home. Strength is talking about the future when inside I fear that we may not have one. Strength is waking up every day and going… Continue reading Little do you know
After my last post on here, so many things happened. One of which is that SHE came back. She professed to my husband that she wanted to run away with him. I found those messages. H said he was just trying to be friendly, because the way she was acting, he was worried that if… Continue reading He fucked up
Well, hubs is in the bathroom, so I thought I’d take a minute to quickly write down some thoughts before he comes out. Yes, I’m still hiding this blog from him because I don’t think he would love it that I’m continuing to write about the disaster of our life 1 year ago. But it… Continue reading A normal night
November is a difficult month for me. My initial finding of the affair happened on Oct. 30th and the final outing of everything, the explosion, happened a couple days after thanksgiving. This month sucks. But I’ve done SO well. I haven’t let it get to me too much until the last couple days. And I… Continue reading November
Apparently I get serious flare ups during my period. A couple days ago, the day before I started my period, I got really emotional. H had a late meeting that went a couple hours past the end of his shift and he got home roughly the time i got home from work. I felt anxious… Continue reading A blade of grass in Uzbekistan